Following Pema

Everyone revers saints. In Jainism, a person taking Deeksha (Vow of celibacy) is considered a supreme human being. They are respected for leaving the Samsara. But come to think of it, it seems to be an easy path. Once you become a monk, you are committing your life to achieving enlightenment. Your own enlightenment, peace of mind. On the other hand, people living in this world go through various tasks of maintaining relationships, keeping jobs, raising children etc. So many roles to play, so many emotions taking a toll on you. Sometimes, it feels like you are going through your own personal hell.

I started wondering, how can we common people achieve that peace of mind that saints achieve. We might gather courage to take the vow of celibacy but does it really make sense for us. Who are we kidding. Even in our own selfish way we love our family, like our lifestyle, earning money and spending on material things. Deeksha is not for everyone. So, I started looking for meditation related audio books. My mind was telling me that I would doze off within first few minutes.

A few searches later, I found “Bodhisattva mind” by Pema Chodron and was in for a surprise. Never have I had so much fun listening to a monk. Pema is a Buddhist teacher, monk helping people take control of their minds. She has this honest, sarcastic, funny way of teaching. She captures your heart and mind instantly. As you listen to her you realize how stupid we are and how foolishly we spend a lifetime creating wars within our minds. While explaining one of the Buddhist verses, she says, “Imagine you have a wild elephant inside your mind and it’s on a rampage. Not just that, it’s pooping all over your mind. That’s what wild mind does to you”. That’s her way of explaining a negative mind. A negative mind is someone who is unconscious of their thoughts and actions. Just like me.

There were days when I would wake up and feel irritated about something. Something negative that might have occurred few days or weeks ago. My mind would remember it and get wired to negativity in seconds. I hated it. So, I started practicing Pema’s teachings. After waking up, I would concentrate on my thoughts. I took deep breaths to let irksome thoughts go and remind myself to be PRESENT.  It sounds easy but it’s not and I often forgot about my resolution for the day. It took a lot of time to remember and practice and I still have a long way to go (10 years for a beginner as per Pema :)). Practicing her teachings made me realize what light as a feather literally feels like and it feels like being re-born. All humans should try it ;).

Below is the list of Pema’s books I liked:

  • Bodhisattva Mind
  • Don’t bite the hook
  • Getting Unstuck

Another New Year

Every new year I see people excited, making plans for the new year’s eve and goals for next year. I was a similar happy camper until my parents passed away. Now, on the last day of the year, first thought that comes to my mind is “Another year they will not be able to see”. In the next thought, I am reminded of my own mortality. The new year is part of my life and my initial thought only applies until I live. It feels a little scary to question ourselves – “Is this going to be the last year of my life?” Then a moment of courage immerges saying “If it is, I want to die with no regrets”.

So, this year I promise myself to have 365 days of happiness. I pledge to,

  1. Be more present in the current moment of life instead of technology.
  2. Concentrate more on positive moments/experiences of life so my brain can recollect them often instead of their evil twin :-).
  3. Improve contact with family and friends.

Not a big list but an important one to remember in this fast paced world.


An affair with death

“The most painful goodbyes are the ones never said and never explained” – By someone.

In my 32 years of life, I have seen my two mothers (Mother and grandma) die of lung disease. I lost my father suddenly when my daughter turned 6 months old. Loosing the people who brought you up is heartwrenching. This year brings another death in our family. My uncle passed away today. He was suffering with multiple problems from past few month and was in ICU kept alive by a ventilator machine. He was a healthy person who started a third career as a manager at a relative’s office after retirement. He had been a business man all his life. Owned textile factories in his 30s and setup his own business with a famous Indian brand wholesale agency in his 50s.  After retirement he couldn’t sit at home and started working again. He had a good life living with his family (wife, son, daughter-in-law,  father). He used to go for walks every day with my aunt.

Suddenly,one day he fell sick with diabetes, jaundice, later with infection and then lung fibrosis. All these problems arose in a span of 4 weeks. It was like someone had pulled the trigger on his life.

Ever since the doctors confirmed that there was no hope left for him, I started thinking about life and death.  What is the purpose of life? Everything new born thing is fragile at start, gets stronger with age, starts withering after a while, becomes fragile again and dies. This is the circle of life for every being on Earth. A constant relationship exists between life and death from the moment we are conceived. Sometimes, external forces play a role in the start of our affair with death. But an affair it is when our time is up. We have so many to dos in our life’s list that we forget the actual purpose of life- To LIVE HAPPILY. So, why don’t we accept the fact, ignore life’s to do list and just have two to dos that is to be Happy and take care of our health.

As my husband says, life is a paradise when we are happy :-).

Should you buy a smart watch

I thought about this a lot – Should I spend money on a smart watch? Is it worth it? What would be the benefits of owning a smart watch? Like a phone, a watch isn’t a necessity. It’s just a nice to have. There are cheap smart watch options available on Amazon to get phone calls and text alerts. But if you are spending money you might as well go for a good model with additional features like fitness, gps and much more.

As I was interested in owning a wearable device, I tried pebble time first. Pebble’s price range seemed reasonable. The simple interface of pebble, the ease of setup, sleep and fitness monitoring were likable. But the lack of speaker phone and functionality to answer phone calls were a turn down. My main reason for trying out a smart watch was to refrain myself from using iPhone in front of my 2yr old who has acquired an affinity for phones. You could argue that if a toddler can learn how to use a phone and open YouTube by themselves, they can surely figure out any smart device. That would be correct but the tiny display on smart watches isn’t something that catches their eye much.

I have been using Apple Watch for over a month now. The integration of watch with iPhone and life feels seamless. I don’t have to hold on to my phone unless I want to send long messages or make phone calls in private. For most part of the day, I forget I am wearing the watch. Tap notifications are a reminder. It took some time to remember that I can look at the time on my wrist instead of the computer or phone :-).

The watch has helped me set fitness goals. Every week I set a calorie, exercise and stand goal for each day of the coming week. You get reward badges for various achievements from going over your goal to achieving a new maximum. It has helped me exercise more. GPS taps are a plus although it takes some time to get used to it. For most part, my hands feel free from having to hold something (My phone) all the time.

One hesitation I had before buying the watch was the attachment we have to our phones now-a-days. There isn’t a place where we don’t take our phones with us. I should say most of us. So, my concern was that this addiction of being connected will increase with the watch. Not quite so. I hardly check my phone for messages or call alerts. I know the ever so helpful Taptic Engine will alert me as soon as they are delivered. The most used app on my phone now is kindle.

Often I have made phone calls from my wrist while cooking, walking towards the car or doing laundry. It’s just so easy and feels like the technology is invisible. We are in the future NOW.

Art is meditation

Zentangle is a form of art that seems quite popular these days for relaxing and relieving stress. I have also heard of color books for adults that help calm you down. The more we advance in technology, the more I see people coming closer to art too. Some want to get away from it and try traditional art forms and some use technology to satisfy their creative muse.  But they all create which leads to happiness and peace within. It’s like meditating in your personal way.

Applying Mehndi (Henna) feels like meditation to me. I just concentrate on the design and its placement which is refreshing for someone looking at the computer screen for 8hrs a day.

What art form helps you meditate?




Lung force walk

Today my brother and I participated in a lung force walk. We walked for our mother who died of a lung disease called Interstitial pulmonary fibrosis and for our grandma who was killed by lung cancer. Both of them didn’t smoke and were never around any smokers. Ofcourse there are other reasons for these diseases as well but we don’t know what caused them. It was a short walk of 3 miles and I wondered how can it make a difference. I thought may be it should have been a marathon or half marathon and that would have mattered. As we registered, met people in different organizer tents and finished the walk, we felt like we did something. There were many participants and my company alone had gathered 11k in fund raising. There was a radio channel covering the event  as well. That kind of money and media coverage makes a huge difference. The money can go towards research, helping current and future patients and so much more. A short event can get fund raising rolling plus its taking place nationwide. And people like me who aren’t yet ready for a marathon can contribute as well. 

Do check for a lung force walk in your area. Clean air is a luxury in some contries and a cure for lung diseases will help save many lives.

Go torquise!



We went to IKEA on the day after thanksgiving and brought some NOT MUCH needed stuff. One of them were spoons. After I washed them, I told my husband “Hey..these spoons are like the one in the Matrix- There is no spoon”. My husband laughed and commented “You and your devotion to Matrix”. I was super excited :). Then a theory occurred to me. Let us say, something happened and you got angry. What if at that time, you say to yourself “THERE IS NO SPOON…There is no anger”. Just this one sentence will clear your mind for a moment and your brain will start thinking about why are you angry? Is this anger worth it? Can you really benefit from this negative emotion? Basically, it will break your chain of negative thoughts. I did try this theory and it has worked well for me. By reacting to negative emotions, we are limiting our happiness. The number of times we can be happy can be ALWAYS (Unless there is real catastrophe).

I remember reading this book called ‘Hardwiring happiness’ by Rick Hanson (Will finish it someday..I am slow with non-fiction). In the start of this book, the author explains how we humans are wired to negativity. How bad experiences stick with us more than good ones. He explains it in detail about how we adopted this kind of thinking and with it hardwired our brains to negativity. No wonder we seek a guide to happiness at some point in life.

My husband always says something similar. He says “Be happy all the time and everything will fall into place”. His theory is that if you are happy, your reaction to a particular situation will also be a good one. You will not react as bad as you would if you were in a low mood.

So, next time you see yourself in a bad mood, just say out loud “THERE IS NO SPOON”.

Stay happy stay healthy 😀

Please feel free to comment. I would love to know your thoughts too.